By India Taina
Disclaimer: I am a luxury unemployed person. This post is for everyone, but I have to put it out there that this is absolutely written for the comedic relief of people in the age range 18-25 who are job hunting for the FIRST time, probably right after graduation, and living in their parent’s basement where they cry at night as they hear their parents getting it on and haven’t gotten action themselves in like 6 months. This post is intended to motivate, relieve, and provide a real account of what it’s like to feel like shit in your 20’s because you were told no more than 100 times and you’re starting to take that shit personally. If you are not in the 18-25 range, just read it for laughs at the mediocrity of millenials, and how oh so much we have to learn. Thanks!
Heyy there Liberal Arts majors 😉 No, let me stop playing lol Unemployment does not discriminate, no matter what your fucking major. Or maybe you didn’t even have a major, you decided to apply for work right after high school and make some money. Except you have no money because you have yet to find any work. Yeah, it’s a shit show. I know because I am also unemployed my friend. I don’t even get paid to do this (yet). So you literally get to see all my goodies for free. This is literally the lamest party I’ve ever been dragged to.
And sure, there are people who thrive in the unemployed life. People who sell food stamps on the low and steal other people’s Netflix accounts fucking up their algorithms, yeah, real A1 people. But if you’re like me, unemployment is nice for like a week and then you really wanna fucking cry. Because you feel useless, you feel enclosed, you feel like you lack purpose. It’s fucking lame. And it only gets worse when you apply for 65 jobs a week, land only 3 interviews, ace the shit out of those interviews, but then don’t get a call back. And you never know why. So, here’s a little guide to get you through this trying time, man. I hope it helps, and I hope that this cycle in life ends for you soon so you can blossom into what you are meant to be, you lil flower.
Alright so first things first. You gotta evaluate, assess, and ACCEPT where you are in this moment. “That’s easy India, I’m broke and unemployed.” Gold star for you Timmy…. No I’m not serious, gimme the star back. This is about you really understanding why you are here. Everything, and I really mean this, let me italicize it so you can take this a little more serious, everything is happening to you, FOR you. I know, I usually wait until at least the 7th paragraph before I go diving into the deep end like that, but baby, it is time to HEAR it. This life is hard. This life can really suck and kick you in the balls and slap yo mama, but I am telling you, it is purposeful. The harder the fall, the realer the come up. And you know you are meant for a come up. That’s why you’re all frustrated, can’t decide where you wanna go, where to expel all this energy, because you are hungry, you wanna show everybody what you have been manifesting throughout all these years and just shine the light of your glory all over their faces.
But instead, you’re stuck. You took all those pretty graduation pictures, got all the decent grades, didn’t do coke, and yet you are the one sitting here wondering if stripping will accept your audition tape even though you couldn’t line up your “sugar” hole with the camera hole. Yeah, my left leg gives me that problem all the time, it’s a real bitch when you can’t align the two.
So, what could possibly be the purpose? Well, I would love to answer that for you, I really would, but it is something you have got to find on your own. There are absolutely times where you do all the right things and the absolute worst thing comes out as a result. And that is life. It’s exactly it. And you might’ve thought “Oh, I’ve already been through my trials, I’ve already been through so much, why do I have to do all this now, I know how hard life can be already!” To which I would reply, you dummy. I would like to bring you exhibit A: ““I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.20Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21For since in the wisdom of God, the world through its wisdom did not know Him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.” (1 Corinthians 18-21). It is literally in the oldest book I know of. Whenever you think that you got it all planned out, that everything is in place and organized and flawless, and you don’t take the time to respect how that process was made possible, oh baby, it’s going DOWN lol Whether you believe in G-d or not, you have to admit that whenever things are taken for granted and processes are not respected and we swear up and down that we’ve got everything, we are in control, nothing can be in our way, you can be sure to expect some real backwards shit at your door in two days WITHOUT a Prime membership.
“But India, I respected my hustle and grind to get to where I’m at, so why am I here?” That’s all fine and dandy that you are respecting your hustle and your grind, but let me ask you, are you respecting the NOW? Are you respecting this tribulation for what it is? Are you respecting yourself in this situation? See, this is what I am saying. Hustle and grind are wonderful things, and easy to respect. But you also have to respect the shit shows, the mistakes, the flat out dumps that you take in life. Hustle is born from this. So, respect it. Fool. And own that you are a fool, we all know G-d don’t like no boasting without his name on it (snap snap).
Okay, so now that we’ve assessed where we are in life, respected where we are in life, and reflected on all the reasons and the purpose, now we can get into some fun stuff. And as nice as it would be for me to offer you the same useless shit on “resume tips” and “how to write a cover letter” that you can literally already find on the fucking internet or your local temp agency, I’m gonna talk about what they don’t talk about. I’m gonna talk about finding support. Because it is tough as shit out here, and when you don’t have a system to fall back on, it can get really dark. So, identify your support system. If you truly don’t believe you have one, I encourage you to find one. Whether it’s an organization, a mentorship program, sports, therapy, or a support group, you’ve got to find a way to talk about wtf is going on. Because this shit will try you for all you’ve got. Unemployment is often under the guise of a lazy person just sitting on the couch watching TV, content with surviving in this way because life is just not worth the work of actually living it. But what they don’t show is the depressed (and rightly so) people who genuinely question every part of themselves. The people who feel they have no purpose waking up because there isn’t shit for them to do. They have TRIED applying everywhere and have gotten rejection after rejection and they are starting to believe that rejection equates to defection. That there is something wrong with them. This is not true and it is not the end. Remember, focus on the purpose, respect the tribulation, and FIND SUPPORT. It’s really going to help you through so much when you hear somebody other than the Indeed rejection emails telling you that you are a great candidate and you do deserve a great job.
And my final step, is to not be boujee. “India, I’m here desperate as shit trying to get a job, nobody has time to be boujee out here”. You would be surprised. Say you’re applying for every legal job you can find. Your major is in legal so you think that you have to have the legal title, you can’t settle for less. But time and time again you are getting rejected and months keep passing by without a job. But you get a call for a waiter position close to you, or a temporary position as a clerk or secretary. TAKE THE POSITION!!! I have definitely made this mistake, 100%, of being too boujee for jobs that were willing to take me.
I think that we have been raised to believe that we can do anything, and we mistook that advice as “We can do anything on the first try.” It’s not true. We absolutely have to start on the bottom, and the bottom is not as a secretary in the place you hope to one day take over. The bottom looks more like working at the lowest of the low in a completely unrelated field, grinding it out until you make your way somewhere close to the bottom of where you want to be. So if you have to be an interior cleaner at Delta Sonic (a car washing company) while waiting to hear back from that basement clerk position in the place you want to be, then DO IT. Don’t be boujee. What’s for you cannot be taken away. Be okay living life as a bottom feeder. And enjoy it! Because one day, the responsibilities are going to come, the grind is going to be harder, more people will be involved that you have to provide for, and you will appreciate it so much more because you allowed yourself to live at a lower vibration and enjoyed your time as a bottom bitch.
We’ve got this, ya’ll. Us bottom bitches will eventually take over. Just remember to take your time; take those rejections and those blows and make them work for you! This is not the end, it’s just the beginning! The right title is going to find you! So, see you at the bottom, babe. Can’t be too lame if we’ve got friends, right?